<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Smuggler</span><br />Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. <br /><br />The guard stops him and says, &quot;What's in the bags?&quot; &quot;Sand,&quot; answered Juan. The guard says, &quot;We'll just see about that get off the bike.&quot; The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.<br /><br />He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, &quot;What have you got?&quot; &quot;Sand,&quot; says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle. This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico. &quot;Hey, Buddy,&quot; says the guard, &quot;I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?&quot; Juan sips his beer and says, &quot;Bicycles.&quot;<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Sherlock Homes</span><br />Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. <p>&quot;Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.&quot; </p><p>Watson replies, &quot;I see millions of stars.&quot; </p><p>&quot;What does that tell you?&quot; </p><p>Watson ponders for a minute. &quot;Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?&quot; </p><p>Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. &quot;Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.&quot;</p><p /><p><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Sea Sickness</span><br /></p>A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worry about getting seasick. <p>The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.'' </p><p>The guy replies, ''Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?'' </p><p>The doctor says, ''No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.'' </p>